Good Friday 2015

Bible Passage: Mark 15:25-47

We'd been with him so long, but in the end, he was pretty much alone. It was unbearable for us to see it, and even those who did stay for a while couldn't stand to see him there, lifeless and bloody.

I remember the day he called me. I was there, in my boat with my brother Andrew, and he just said "Come with me - you'll be fishing for people from now on" - and we just did. You couldn't help but do what he said - there was that authority there, that assurance, and you just knew that there was no better place to be than with him.

All over now. All gone. Finished.

I was there, when he healed people, even raised them from the dead - the awesome power, it was amazing to see but also a bit scary at times - you just knew that you were with someone that wasn't just a teacher, but a true Man of God - maybe even more. One time he asked us - who did we think he was? And it just sort of burst out from me; "You're the Messiah, the Son of God"! He wouldn't let us tell people, and then he started talking about how he was going to have to suffer and die; I couldn't believe it, I went to him and told him it wouldn't happen - how could he be the Messiah and let these things happen? I don't mind telling you, he really let rip at me. And he was right.

Betrayed? Yes, he was betrayed. Those scheming Priests found the one weak link amongst us and once they had him, the writing was on the wall. Though I suppose we all betrayed him, in the end. I did. I went to where they were holding him, to see what was happening, and I pretended I didn't know him. As he knew I would. And then, as they took him out this morning...... I wept again; I could hardly recognise Jesus. And as soon as they went to the Governer's Palace, I knew what they were doing.

I don't want to talk about it. It's just too much. No-one should have to suffer that; hour after hour. Though some of the women stayed; they told me that it was after that strange darkness, the end. And that Joseph went and got permission to..... well. at least he'll get a decent burial.

It's over. I really thought he was the Messiah, but he can't have been - not to suffer and die like that. God wouldn't allow it. But he was great, he was holy. I'm glad I knew him, even if I let him down; I can't bear the idea of never seeing him again. I just don't know how I'll carry on.